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| Navigational Art and Directions By Colleen Yorke, © 2015. |
For some of us running has become a major component
of our life. We follow a rigorous training schedule, which may seem like
punishment to non-runners. Running in 90 degree weather. Running in the rain.
Chasing wind tunnels. Running 45% inclines. Sprinting 200 yards. Running an
ultra marathon. We run because we can. We run because it keeps us grounded and
sane. We run because it helps us cope. The rhythm, routine, control, the tempo
efforts and existential predawn speed sessions provide us with much needed
balance and strength.
Grief is a strange fellow. In the last
couple of weeks, I have run more than I should have. Running the miles means running with my demon. I am struggling. I am
battling insurmountable hills. I am fighting to get stronger, day by day. My
runs are personal. There are tears, but I return from my runs feeling, as
I knew I would, a little better. Up until the moment, we hit a block.
The swoosh is gone. We.
Just. Can’t Do. It. We are exhausted, and training has become a tedious
exercise in going from one run to the next.
We just
feel tired. Tired of running familiar routes dear to our heart and laden
with
memories. Tired of facing that demon on a regular basis. We accumulate
miles to
the point that running becomes a habit of rigidity. Running on
auto-pilot takes
on a self-replicating pattern, and we seldom ask if we are still doing
what we
ought to be doing. The worst part of burnout is that we run out of
enthusiasm for our sport. While we may still enjoy the views or wax the
nostalgic as
we run by our memorabilia whatever they may be, we are hurting. In this
sense,
running too much of the time for too long may eventually strangle the
meaning
out of our days. We may be in need of a run-cation to change entrenched
habits
and behaviors. We may need to make some changes in our lives, give our
hearts a
chance to heal, give our feet a change of pace and new
pathways to
explore.
I do not know where the journey takes me, but I
promise I will return and write about it. Maybe we will meet on the road.
"When the going gets tough, the tough get going."
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